Transition Update

Just a diary entry about our transition efforts.

The countdown clock is ticking, and my stress levels are increasing. Ten months until Ian’s public school graduation. Ten months until we have no help, no support. Ten months to sink or swim.

Summers are always tough. Town camps don’t take kids like mine, so when he was younger, I would spend hours searching for appropriate camps and other ways to fill his days. Some summers, I spent six hours in a car driving him back and forth from various programs.

This summer was no different. There’s a 16-week gap between the last day of school and the resumption of full time school. During those 16 weeks, he had six weeks of part time school. But the rest of the time, we just had to figure out things on our own. I tried to provide him with at least one activity per day — social skills class, an online computer class, a trip to see Grandma. But he was bored a lot.

Ian’s like a shark, if he stops moving, going places, and learning things, he dies. When bored, he paces back and forth and wants to know what he’s going to do next. It’s nearly impossible to write or get my own work done with that guilt and pacing going on in the background.

In ten months, if I don’t get something set up now, life will be a permanent summer. With a pacing, bored Ian and a frustrated, exhausted me.

One of the advantages of being “in the system” for disability services is that I have access to a service coordinator who will talk frankly about reality. She tells me that there is absolutely nothing for people with high-functioning autism in Northern New Jersey.

Without any outside help or coordination, Ian and I are on our own. The plan is that he will fill his day with part time classes at the local community college and a part-time job with a job coach. He’s going to have to take over more responsibilities for his social activities and cooking.

So, Ian has to be fully operational, with no autism oddities, by next June when the public school system ends. Is that likely? 50/50.

Ian has to be able to take in-person college classes without insulting his professor and classmates. He has to be able to do an office job without annoying everyone. He has to make dinner on his own and then clean up the mess without gagging.

Those are big goals, but honestly, I have no fall back plans. If he can’t make this Leap, then we’re all in trouble. It’s all very stressful, but I’m trying my best to keep my cool.

I’m staying away from late night googling sessions.

I’m being militant about self-care with three mile walks and healthy living.

We are taking the time to have fun as a family. Tonight, we’re meeting up by Steve’s office in New York City for dinner at a water-front restaurant. We’ll watch the yachts pull into New York Harbor and have a nice beer.

I’m hanging out with friends that make me laugh.

I’m pursuing my own career goals, and letting life get messier. So far, no disasters.