Essential Skills For Adulthood, Part 1 - Triage, Academics, and Behaviors

Excerpt from Chapter Three

I’m writing a book. My goal is to have a rough draft completed by the end of June. This is an excerpt from Chapter Three, which discusses the multiple dimensions that autistic students should master before leaving public school. No paywall this week, but please subscribe to support my work. Please find previous excerpts in my Archives.

Triage

Once you get those Freshman evaluations, then it’s time to look across the board and see where the needs are. You’ll have to do a little triage, because there are only so many hours in the day and dollars in the bank. Some deficits should be improved in the short term, while others can be tackled a little later.

Some people will try to tell you that your student’s deficits are permanent. A student that can’t read on grade level in seventh grade will never read well. They’ll say that a student with autism who can’t have a conversation by fifth grade, will never be independent. There are people who will write off your kids entirely once they get that autism diagnosis. Thankfully, those people are retiring to Florida and will soon be out of your orbit.

Our kids keep improving. They can get therapy or tutoring at any age, and they’ll improve. While autism is a permanent disability, autistic traits can lighten up over time, at any age. Temple Grandin, the patron saint of autism, said she was improving her communication and anxiety issues even as an adult. I keep improving, so why wouldn’t our kids?

While ensuring that their students continue to make progress academically, parents should take a look at all the ways that they functions in the world. Do they have some basic skills to manage in their home and community? Do they know how to advocate for themselves? Do they behave appropriately?

There are multiple dimensions that autistic teens should develop in high school and afterwards: academic, behavioral, social-emotional skills, functional, self-identification, medical, and strengths (don’t forget to foster their strengths).

Developing the multidimensional of autism should happen at school, through health-insurance covered therapy after-school, and at home. These dimensions are equally important for helping your student thrive after high school, though it is not possible to tackle all those issues at the same time. One year you might put all your energy into fostering social skills, while the next year might be about becoming more independent at home.

Since autism is a life-long condition, autistic individuals will continue to hone these skills through out their lives. Hopefully, they will laugh about their common challenges with other autistic adults on TikTok. Hopefully, they will be surrounded by amazing friends and family that will support their journey. But let’s lessen those future struggles, by providing them with support now.

Academics

Your school might want to steer all the autistic kids into nonacademic classrooms in high school. It’s cheaper for them to group the autistic kids together with the IDD kids, even though those groups may have very different needs. All autistic kids, regardless of their cognitive abilities and even their interest levels, should definitely keep learning academics.

The school might want to replace traditional academic classes with classes called “Twenty-First Century Job Skills” or “Success 101.” I’m not a huge fan of those classes. They are light on content — more theory than reality. Mostly likely, your student won’t even write a useful resume or gain any job skills. Those classes don’t usually have an evidence-based curriculum. In the worse case scenarios, those classes might utilize some worksheets and involve lots of chit-chat time intended to burn time until the end of the day. Unless there’s a highly qualified person teaching concrete skills, like welding or mechanics, and placing student in real jobs, then those classes are a questionable use of a student’s time.

It’s best to continue provide academic instruction to all students throughout high school, and save job skill classes for the three years in an 18-21 year public school transition program. High school may be the last chance that teens will learn reading, math, science, and social studies. The unmodified curriculum at college could prove to be too challenging for them. Unless a parent hires a tutor, no one will continue to work with them on decoding texts and adding fractions. Perhaps your kid just needed that year or two of growth to be ready to tackle that next academic hurdle. Don’t give up on them too soon!

Most importantly, our kids certainly can’t succeed in college without having some solid academics behind them. Remember: As in special ed classes are not the equivalent of As in a regular class. Without some basic skills in the primary subjects, your student will get stuck in the remedial track and that’s just bad news, as I’ll explain later. Even the alternative IDD tracks in college require some ground-level academic skills.

Parents should utilize the academic evaluations done during their Freshman year of high school to create rigorous academic goals for their students. If their education evaluations say they read at at sixth grade level, then their IEP should have a goal that they’ll reach a seventh grade level. The IEPs should also state how they will measure that goal and what methods they will use to reach that goal.

What happens if your child totally hates school? If she has clearly expressed that she doesn’t care about Algebra or the Civil War or Harry Potter, then maybe lessen expectations or change teaching methods. Even with the most unenthusiastic learner, I say push your student and the school to the very end on academic goals. Life is just better when you know stuff.

The school might argue that the student will benefit more from knowing how to do laundry or hearing some theories about employment, while algebra is optional. Thank them for their thoughts on the matter, and then insist that they still teach your kid stuff. I’m not picky about what that stuff is, just as long as there is some teaching and learning going on.

Sometimes schools will cease academic instruction on special education students in high school without informing the parent. Don’t let that happen. Remember an IEP committee includes you, the parent, and your student cannot be steered one way or another without your consent. If they say that their school don’t do academics with autistic students, then you (and your advocate) should request outside placement.

Study Skills

Many students with autism and related disabilities struggle with various “soft skills” needed in college and employment. Higher education requires a high level of organizational skills. Student have to maintain their own schedule, study independently, and keep their heads clear from distractions. They won’t have a teacher or an aide overseeing their work and their day-to-day lives. We’re now seeing that many students diagnosed with both autism and ADHD, so those organizational skills might not come easily to them.

Before leaving public education, students should master productivity tools, like online calendars. If college is in their future, they should know how to take notes during a lecture and study for a cumulative exam.

Some colleges provide supports for these deficits, which will talk about later in this book. Yet, it would be best to develop those skills earlier. As someone who is a compulsive list maker, I firmly believe that life is better when you can meet your goals and have a master plan.

“The Asperger Kids”

While it’s important to keep the school focused on academics, just know that academics alone are not enough. Many of my clients are parents who proudly tell me that their kids have Aspergers. It’s not really autism, they say. They’ll tell me that their kid got all As in college and graduated from a great college.

All of that is FANTASTIC. I love those super smart kids. When I was a college professor, they were a joy to have in my class, because they always did the readings and remembered all the details. They sat in the front row of my class and always raised their hands.

But those parents call me for a reason. They are at loose ends, because their kids finish college and can’t find a job. Their autistic issues were completely ignored in high school and college, and now those neglected problems need to be addressed.

Maybe they have too much anxiety to manage a job. Maybe they have poor executive functioning skills and can’t deal with an open-ended job search. Perhaps they can’t make eye contact during an interview. Overwhelmed with the next step in life, these unemployed twenty year olds retreat to their bedrooms and play video games all day. Parents thought their kids weren’t disabled enough to qualify for support services, so they never applied. Now, these young adults don’t have access to the disability safety net. It’s a bad situation.

Some autistic kids are extremely excellent at school. They enjoy the structure of the classroom, the predictability of a school day. They enjoy learning information, particularly in their narrow interest area. Frankly, a lot of college professors are a little autistic themselves, so narrow interests and poor social skills are not terribly unusual on a college campus. But after college, the expectations for blending into the neurotypical populations are much higher.

So, deal with the autistic stuff, too. Make sure that these issues are recognized by your school and are included as goals in the IEP. If your district is very resistant to educating older autistic students, you might need to bring in an advocate or an attorney to help your student.

Behaviors/Self Regulation

Autistic behaviors pose the biggest barrier between the autistic individual and the outside world. They are also poorly understood by the general community and very challenging to correct. They require attention both at school and at home using multiple tools.

An autistic behavior is a form of communication. It can take the form of an outburst, a verbal tic, or a stim. When autistic people are upset or anxious, their communication skills shutdown, and they react in sometimes loud and uncomfortable ways. Sometimes, they’ll have a compulsion to say a certain phrase or hum a melody when they hear a trigger. Sometimes, they’ll burn off extra energy with some exuberant hand flapping or pacing. These behaviors are disconcerting to people around them, because most people simply don’t understand autism.

A large challenge for people with autism is communicating effectively, while controlling high levels of anxiety. When my son was three, he would became very upset when his routines were changed and when high demands were placed on him. He had some speech at that time, but his brain would overload during these times of crisis and completely shutdown his ability to communicate. Instead of calmly telling us what was bothering him, he expressed his frustration by screaming. For so many people with autism, anxiety triggers a fight or flight response.

Autism professionals help young children by learning about what triggers those extreme responses. In some cases, it might be about changes to a routine, as it was for my son when he was very little. Other times, the trigger might be based on the extreme sensory needs of people with autism. Flickering lights, scratchy pants, loud sounds, strong smells, the screech of a desk chair irritate autistic people in ways that many neurotypical people find mystifying.

As the public has become much more knowledgable about autism in recent years, more neurotypical people are identifying their own sensory issues. My husband can’t stand the sound of leaf blowers. My sister can’t maintain a conversation when there’s music playing in the background. My nephew is an extremely picky eater. With greater solidarity around sensory issues, I hope that workplaces and schools can be more welcoming of our young people. But in the meantime, we have to help our children understand their triggers, avoid them when possible, use their words to explain their needs to others, and control extreme response.

Getting help for autistic behaviors should happen in multiple arenas, consistently over time. When your students are very young, they should be receiving ABA therapy. To get qualified for these intensive services paid for by the state or health insurance, it’s very important to have that autism diagnosis. After age three, the school district will provide that therapy. Parents can supplement with private ABA therapy, which is usually covered by health insurance. Later, as the student gets older, a psychologist can provide that support.

Some autistic people’s extreme need to control their environments can be described as OCD. It’s hard to know if OCD is a separate, co-morbid diagnosis or it’s always an element of autism. Regardless of diagnosis criteria, rigidity, irrational fears, and behaviors can be debilitating.

As parents, we consciously or unconsciously construct environments that are free from any autistic stressors. If our kids have a panic attack when they see the color blue, we remove that color from our homes. If they freak out at the thought of being late, we show up five minutes early to events. My son has an aversion to certain songs and words, because they trigger day-long ear-worms, so we never ever hum the tunes of Disney movies or the theme to Thomas the Tank Engine movies.

Autism parents must gently nudge their kids to cope with OCD, anxiety, and behaviors — all of which become real barriers to success after high school. Colleges, even ones that provide autism programs, can’t support kids with too many triggers and persistent rigidity. After high school, there are no laws that protect our kids in the workplace or education. Even some day programs will not except clients with too many behaviors. So, ABA and therapy must be a basic part of our kids lives in their younger years. Even when they’re older, they’ll need to work with experts occasionally for tune-ups. Medication may also need to be part of the solution.

Some say that forcing autistic people to mask those foundational autistic issues is ableist. ABA therapy has come under scrutiny for being too punitive. However, I think that negative autistic behaviors create too high of a wall between the individuals and the rest of the world. If that wall can be broken down or at least lowered, our children will have more opportunities for growth and self-fulfillment.